My Life, My Love, My Future

3:00PM something in the evening, I went out to take ‘Char Koay Teow’ at Lorong Selamat as my birthday lunch, alone. Look up to the sky, it looks like going to rain, better take my umbrella along. 3:00PM is not a peak hour, therefore I don’t have to queue up at the stall to buy the Chat Koay Teow. "Ke Liao", I told that hawker, means add more prawns.

After a while, the assistant sent the Char Koay Teow to my table, "Chit Koh", she said; means RM7.00. Half way eating, it started to rain. My forecast was correct. After finish eating, I sit there, lighting up my cigarette, and started to think of her again. Again, will she send me an email or e-card? I think. Has my neighbour on his wireless network? If not, I can’t get access to Internet to check for my mail. After finishing my cigarette, I opened up my umbrella and slowly walked towards my car.

The girl that I mentioned in my previous blog, her offer to celebrate birthday for me has been rejected again. Sorry Lisa, I know you have the heart and I really appreciate that. But since I don’t have the heart, I prefer not to give you hope, please forgive me. I rather celebrate my birthday alone, I don’t want to let you waste too much time on me. She is 29, going to be 30. Girls really can’t afford to waste their time for this. She should find someone who really loves her and has feeling on her. Many people told me that I shouldn’t give up the whole forest because of a tree. But to me, human is not a tree. If one treats his/her partner as a tree, this could be the root of not being loyal and not truly love his/her partner for the rest of his/her life.

No matter what, friends are just trying to make us feel better, they have no other meanings. But when you deeply and truly love somebody, how can you forget her like forgetting a tree? But friends, thanks to all of you anyway.

Now already 10:19PM. No email from her, nothing. Antonio, perhaps you might need to treat her as a tree so that you can feel better. Happy birthday to you!